In January 2011 I started to unravel about being told how to be less fat!!! It only has become worse, probably because I was focused on it. In January I picked up a magazine, read an article about dieting. It did not tell me one thing I had not heard before. Not one thing!!! You know, exercise more, eat better, sleep more etc. I am not against healthy ways of living it is just that there seems to be a war on about fat people and especially fat kids. Since then I have read how where you live makes you fat, who you hang out with may make you fat, lack of sleep makes you fat, too much sleep makes you fat, it is endless. There is also all this talk about food tax, healthier foods in machines in the work place, in schools and how are we going to make healthy foods cheaper? Now please, give us a break, is it not cheaper to buy an orange than a chocolate bar? What about the fact that fat foods just taste good, can we ever legislate that? Again I am a supporter of a healthier lifestyle but I am just so mad about the constant attack on fat people. I am also tired of being told what to do and especially what to eat, I know I am not alone. For all the years we have heard about losing weight it must be alarming to” whomever those folks are” that we are getting fatter as a nation. Something is not working!
I know that kids today lead a much more sedentary lifestyle but let me tell you about my childhood. I was born hungry…really, my mom said I wanted to eat (drink) from day one. I came from a very active family. I did all the sports, ice skated for years and battled my weight. We did not even have TV until I was 12 years old. My brother grew up exactly the same way and he is tall and slim. Did I eat too much? I don’t really know, I started to diet at 16 and well we all know what that does over time. Thanks to my parents I grew up with great self esteem, some might say inflated….
I say all this because in my opinion there is still so much we don’t know…no computers in my day to keep me captive indoors. We still have stats that say we are likely to gain weight back we lost, we still spend billions of dollars on weight loss and we are still fat.
I have no idea what the answers are. I am in a position to know thousands of fat women and over the years there have been a small number who have maintained large losses. Most have not. That includes me. I do know many women who have chosen to be healthier and are still plus sizes, I know women who have given up and those who continue to try new things.
I am very interested in what women of size think about this issue. Where do we go from here? What are you doing? I have so much more to say on this subject, it is endless in my world. I will keep you posted.
This hot weather seems to stimulate my thoughts, especially about surviving the heat in a large body. More than any other time it makes me think I would like to be weighing less. I don’t like getting into the subject about weight loss as it is one of those subjects that seems to be emotionally charged. Oh well, maybe once in a while we should just take it out and shake it up.
I hear about all aspects of weight, probably more than many people. Needless to say it ranges from promotion of every diet to sheer self acceptance at any cost. It is a very interesting subject but one that so many of us have strong feelings of hurt, frustration, confusion, anger, rejection and desperation. So why am I taking this on one might ask?? I can only answer that for me, so much information flows my way for a long time and then I have some sort of epiphany and I need to share it.
This really started with Mer, a friend of mine who told me she finally had the answer to losing weight. It is the “one egg theory”. I was of course intrigued as we had declared a moratorium on talking “diet”. Her very good friend moved into the same apartment complex and they have spent more time sharing kids and dogs and meals. This friend of her’s is slim. Seems her friend only eats one egg for breakfast. No toast, no butter, nothing but this one egg. She also only eats small portions at all meals. We laughed so hard….one egg indeed, “never” have I had just one egg……! I said to my friend that I guess everything comes full circle. In the beginning the experts said “input – food/output-exercise” it was as simple as that. We both concluded that we are “hooped”!!
This encounter started me thinking about this entire subject again. I had put it away and worked on the self acceptance part for a long time. I have once again after many years opened it up and have talked to many women about their journey. As you may expect it is a long list of different results but in the end it seems that not much has changed over the years. It is complex, dieting has poor (still after all these years} long term maintained weight loss success.
I have come to believe we may need to make peace with our bodies. We spend so much time and energy on everything related to weight, what we eat or don’t, how much exercise to do, what others think of our body and on and on. If it is true that focusing on what we don’t want will bring us more of it, no wonder we stay fat. What if we could just lighten up on our constant thoughts about losing weight?? Perhaps we could just stay in the moment and thank our body for getting us this far. I have this quote taped on my printer from Sarah Ban Breathnach who wrote Simple Abundance :You simply will not be the same person two months from now after consciously giving thanks each day for the abundance that exists in your life, and you will have set in motion an ancient spiritual law: the more you have and are grateful for, the more will be given to you.”
I have said for a long time that it may be hard to move forward if we don’t like ourselves. I also think we need to feel happy and feel good. It is just not possible if we are obsessed about every aspect being fat. Clearly I have not lost lots of pounds but I have been able to do things for me that are easy choices that help me to maintain the feel good theme. I am liking the idea of not thinking about my body size constantly. The reality is that it is what it is right at this moment. I have read that one may be able to create a vision of what we want, ask for it ( from God, the universe, ourselves?) and allow it to happen. I will give it a try, after all being grateful has served me well and brought me much more.
Last week a customer told me she had “released 65 pounds from her body”. I had not heard that before. Interesting…..
I will let you know if there is any “releasing” from making peace with my body, if all else fails it will surely lead me down another interesting path.
One thing for sure, the “one egg theory” will remain just that.